Nehemiah didn't let intimidation, ridicule, and threats thwart his trust in God or his determination to carry on His calling on his life. Continuing from yesterday, on through the rebuilding of the wall, here are some more examples of Nehemiah's faith and grit to persevere.
Nehemiah 4:11-13
Israel's enemies didn't quit either. They kept coming back with increased pressure trying to put an end to the work of repairing Jerusalem's wall and gates. They planned an even stealthier attack and boasted "They will not know or see until we come among them, kill them, and put a stop to the work."
But the people of Israel didn't live only in the city of Jerusalem. They also lived in the country surrounding the city and they heard the boasting. Nehemiah writes that these Jews "told us ten times."
Nehemiah responded with courage and grit. He stationed people at all the lowest places of the wall and at the gates (which did not yet have their doors rebuilt). He stationed people with swords, spears, and bows. When he saw the people's fear, he encouraged the people saying, "Do not be afraid of them; remember the Lord who is great and awesome..." He also encouraged them to fight! Fight for their brothers, sons, daughters, wives and homes.
Fight. I can't really win a fight against my fear on my own. Only trusting God can conquer my fear. But I do need to be involved in the fight. I need to fight lies with the truth. The truth that God is trustworthy, that He is good, that He knows what He's doing, that He loves me more than I can imagine, and that He wants only the best for me. I need to “remember the Lord who is great and awesome...and fight!”
Israel's enemies heard that their plan had been frustrated and backed off. But Nehemiah persisted in being proactive, preparing for an attack and at the same time not letting anything stop the work.
“...then all of us returned to the wall, each one to his work. And it came about from that day on, that half of my servants carried on the work while half of them held the spears, the shields, the bows, and the breastplates... Those who were rebuilding the wall and those who carried burdens took their load with one hand doing the work and the other holding a weapon. As for the builders, each wore his sword girded at his side as he built...”
Talk about courage and gritty determination! They even took their weapons with them when they fetched water. And they never changed their clothes. They were determined to watch for the enemy and continue the work.
Am I that determined to watch for the enemy? My real enemy? Not my imagined and misguided enemies. My real enemy, the one that robs me of peace and freedom, is the enemy of us all. He comes to steal and destroy (John 10:10) and he accomplishes that in me by sneaking fear in through the back door of my circumstances. Sometimes, I'm a victim of a stealthy attack just like Sanballot and Tobias had planned for the Jews. I don't even know I've been sucked in to fear and suddenly I'm functioning out of it. I need to be more attuned to enemy tactics and catch on sooner, taking it to God and moving forward in proactive trust in Him.
Good, ole Nehemiah. After all this legitimate fear and threat, he comes out with another casual comment in 4:21, “So we carried on the work.” Ho hum. Yeh, so, we kept building.
Nehemiah 6:1-9
The enemies heard that the wall was finished and all that remained were the gates to rebuild. Time was running short for the enemy to keep Jerusalem vulnerable to their own advantage. They plotted together to kill Nehemiah. They invited him to come meet with them. (Yeh, right! Did they think he was stupid?) Nehemiah refused, stating the obvious, “Um, I'm pretty busy here. I can't come.” Four times they sent the “invitation” to him. The fifth time they accused him of planning to rebel against the king and insinuated blackmail was forthcoming. Nehemiah calmly sent his reply, simply stating they'd made it up and it's not true.
Then Nehemiah prays.
“For all of them were trying to frighten us thinking, 'They will become discouraged with the work and it will not be done.' But now, O God, strengthen my hands.” (Neh. 6:9)
He prays for strength. Hidden within that verse is also a prayer for courage and strength of heart. And that brings us back to my second post about Nehemiah, But Now...
Faced with a monumental task--which he desired to do for the glory of God--Nehemiah experienced fear, challenges, ridicule, mocking, vulnerability, danger, threats, and death plots. In response he prayed and he kept working hard. He didn't quit and didn't falter. He didn't let difficulty, opposition, or danger thwart his progress. Nehemiah kept moving forward despite the enemy's intimidation, despite his own fear, and despite very real danger.
He didn't let fear stop him.
That's why Nehemiah is my hero.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Faith, Prayer, and Grit
I love the way Nehemiah responds to trouble. Throughout the project of rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem he encountered opposition, ridicule, threats, plans to attack the city, and even plans to kill him. He responded to each circumstance with faith, prayer, and grit.
Check out the intimidation, mocking and threats he faced and how he responded to them.
Nehemiah 2:10-16
Neighboring leaders were "very displeased that someone was seeking the welfare of Israel."
Not to be intimidated, Nehemiah went on to inspect the walls. He took care to do so under cover of night and not yet reveal his intentions to the people. He'd had a plan and moved forward with it.
Nehemiah 2:19-20
Sanballot, Tobiah, and Geshem "mocked and despised" them. "What is this thing you are doing? Are you rebelling against the king?" It seems they wanted to intimidate Nehemiah and suggest that they'd tell the king all about his plans. They didn't know Nehemiah had the full blessing of the king.
Nehemiah's response? He got in their faces, so to speak. He told them: "The God of heaven will give us success, therefore we His servants will arise and build, but you have no portion, right or memorial in Jerusalem."
I love that response! "HEY! You have no place in this matter. You have no right to even speak to it, so just back off!" This makes me think of my fear. Christ bought my freedom and healing, has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9), and has given me everything pertaining to life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). I do not have to give in to fear, obeying it's commands. Nehemiah's example reminds me that fear has no portion or right to me.
Nehemiah 4:1-6
Sanballot became furious and mocked Israel. Tobiah joined in the mocking saying, "Even what they are building - if a fox should jump on it, he would break down their stone wall."
Nehemiah's response: He prayed. "Hear, O our God, how we are despised? Return their reproach on their own heads."
Then what did Nehemiah do?
"So we built the wall and the whole wall was joined together to half its height for the people had a mind to work." They just kept on going, not letting the enemy thwart their purpose and their drive to finish the work.
I love the casual way it's stated, like it's not big deal. I picture the telling of a captivating tale.
"Really? They said that? Oh my gosh! What did you do?"
"Oh, we built the wall."
Nehemiah 4:7-10
Enemies heard the work went on and that breaches began to be closed, and they became very angry. They conspired together to come and attack Jerusalem.
When Nehemiah got wind of it, his response was to pray and take action. "But we prayed to our God, and because of them we set up a guard against them day and night."
They partnered with God in thwarting the enemy's plans to disrupt the work. They prayed and they employed wisdom. They carried on the work; they didn't sit down and quit, or even wait for things to settle down. They proactively set up a guard against the enemy and carried on.
(More tomorrow.)
Check out the intimidation, mocking and threats he faced and how he responded to them.
Nehemiah 2:10-16
Neighboring leaders were "very displeased that someone was seeking the welfare of Israel."
Not to be intimidated, Nehemiah went on to inspect the walls. He took care to do so under cover of night and not yet reveal his intentions to the people. He'd had a plan and moved forward with it.
Nehemiah 2:19-20
Sanballot, Tobiah, and Geshem "mocked and despised" them. "What is this thing you are doing? Are you rebelling against the king?" It seems they wanted to intimidate Nehemiah and suggest that they'd tell the king all about his plans. They didn't know Nehemiah had the full blessing of the king.
Nehemiah's response? He got in their faces, so to speak. He told them: "The God of heaven will give us success, therefore we His servants will arise and build, but you have no portion, right or memorial in Jerusalem."
I love that response! "HEY! You have no place in this matter. You have no right to even speak to it, so just back off!" This makes me think of my fear. Christ bought my freedom and healing, has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9), and has given me everything pertaining to life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). I do not have to give in to fear, obeying it's commands. Nehemiah's example reminds me that fear has no portion or right to me.
Nehemiah 4:1-6
Sanballot became furious and mocked Israel. Tobiah joined in the mocking saying, "Even what they are building - if a fox should jump on it, he would break down their stone wall."
Nehemiah's response: He prayed. "Hear, O our God, how we are despised? Return their reproach on their own heads."
Then what did Nehemiah do?
"So we built the wall and the whole wall was joined together to half its height for the people had a mind to work." They just kept on going, not letting the enemy thwart their purpose and their drive to finish the work.
I love the casual way it's stated, like it's not big deal. I picture the telling of a captivating tale.
"Really? They said that? Oh my gosh! What did you do?"
"Oh, we built the wall."
Nehemiah 4:7-10
Enemies heard the work went on and that breaches began to be closed, and they became very angry. They conspired together to come and attack Jerusalem.
When Nehemiah got wind of it, his response was to pray and take action. "But we prayed to our God, and because of them we set up a guard against them day and night."
They partnered with God in thwarting the enemy's plans to disrupt the work. They prayed and they employed wisdom. They carried on the work; they didn't sit down and quit, or even wait for things to settle down. They proactively set up a guard against the enemy and carried on.
(More tomorrow.)
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
But now...
Nehemiah.
A captive. A slave. Fear and courage mingled within the same person. He was afraid for his life to answer the king's question honestly, but brave enough to do so. Brave enough to pursue a call to tackle a monumental job of repairing the walls of Israel's ruined Jerusalem. And while he was at it, he bravely asked even more of the king. Just as Nehemiah had prayed for, the king had compassion and favor on him. The king not only gave Nehemiah permission to leave his service for a time, he gave him letters for safe passage, escorts, and even provided timber for the project.
The neighboring peoples rather liked the fact that Jerusalem was in ruins. A city with no walls or gates had no protection. For that reason not many people lived there and the ones who did were vulnerable to the whims and assaults of their enemies. Those enemies weren't real happy to see Nehemiah arrive and rally the Israelites into an enthusiastic reconstruction crew. They taunted, ridiculed and threatened. Repeatedly.
Nehemiah 6:9 is a powerful verse to me. Uplifting. Inspiring. Encouraging. It says,
"For all of them were trying to frighten us, thinking, 'They will become discouraged with the work and it will not be done.' But now, O God, strengthen my hands."
But now, O God...
I love how Nehemiah addressed the fear head on. He recognized the source and intent of it but was determined not to fall victim to it. He knew he needed God's help to do that. Jerusalem was vulnerable because her walls were a rubble and Nehemiah was vulnerable, too. He was no stranger to fear. But he faced the fear by taking it to God. Every time.
He seemed to recognize his fear for what it was, an enemy of God's purpose. Nehemiah had a resolve to trust God, to honor God, and to fulfill God's intended purpose for him and for the project. He viewed his fear through that resolve, but recognized his weakness.
But now, O God, strengthen my hands.
Between the lines of Nehemiah 6:9, I read my own story, my own fear. I hear my own voice betraying the truth of my condition.
For all of them were trying to frighten us (and I am scared, God), thinking "They will become discouraged with the work" (It is a huge work, God. There is such opposition, such danger. Discouragement lurks so near to overtake me.) and it will not be done." (Can we really do this, God?)
My habit has been to stop right there and set up camp. To dwell there. Right there with fear circling, discouragement lurking, and doubt creeping. Usually, for me, the work does not get done.
But not Nehemiah. He doesn't fall prey to the enemy's tactics.
But now, O God, strengthen my hands.
But now... right in the midst of fear. Oh no! There's a threat!
But now... right in the midst of ridicule. Who do you think you are?
But now... right in the midst of discouragement. Right in the face of doubt. You can't do this!
O God... You are good.
O God... You are mighty to save.
O God... I need You.
O God... You are with me.
O God... You have a purpose for me.
O God... You! You.
Strengthen my hands... because I can't move forward without it.
Strengthen my hands... because I don't want to let fear enslave me.
Strengthen my hands... I don't want to quit. And without Your help, I might.
Strengthen my hands... because You want to give me more than I ever dreamed I could have. Freedom.
Strengthen my hands... because I want it.
Strengthen my hands, strengthen my heart ... because I want You.
But now, O God... strengthen.
But now, O God...
A captive. A slave. Fear and courage mingled within the same person. He was afraid for his life to answer the king's question honestly, but brave enough to do so. Brave enough to pursue a call to tackle a monumental job of repairing the walls of Israel's ruined Jerusalem. And while he was at it, he bravely asked even more of the king. Just as Nehemiah had prayed for, the king had compassion and favor on him. The king not only gave Nehemiah permission to leave his service for a time, he gave him letters for safe passage, escorts, and even provided timber for the project.
The neighboring peoples rather liked the fact that Jerusalem was in ruins. A city with no walls or gates had no protection. For that reason not many people lived there and the ones who did were vulnerable to the whims and assaults of their enemies. Those enemies weren't real happy to see Nehemiah arrive and rally the Israelites into an enthusiastic reconstruction crew. They taunted, ridiculed and threatened. Repeatedly.
Nehemiah 6:9 is a powerful verse to me. Uplifting. Inspiring. Encouraging. It says,
"For all of them were trying to frighten us, thinking, 'They will become discouraged with the work and it will not be done.' But now, O God, strengthen my hands."
But now, O God...
I love how Nehemiah addressed the fear head on. He recognized the source and intent of it but was determined not to fall victim to it. He knew he needed God's help to do that. Jerusalem was vulnerable because her walls were a rubble and Nehemiah was vulnerable, too. He was no stranger to fear. But he faced the fear by taking it to God. Every time.
He seemed to recognize his fear for what it was, an enemy of God's purpose. Nehemiah had a resolve to trust God, to honor God, and to fulfill God's intended purpose for him and for the project. He viewed his fear through that resolve, but recognized his weakness.
But now, O God, strengthen my hands.
Between the lines of Nehemiah 6:9, I read my own story, my own fear. I hear my own voice betraying the truth of my condition.
For all of them were trying to frighten us (and I am scared, God), thinking "They will become discouraged with the work" (It is a huge work, God. There is such opposition, such danger. Discouragement lurks so near to overtake me.) and it will not be done." (Can we really do this, God?)
My habit has been to stop right there and set up camp. To dwell there. Right there with fear circling, discouragement lurking, and doubt creeping. Usually, for me, the work does not get done.
But not Nehemiah. He doesn't fall prey to the enemy's tactics.
But now, O God, strengthen my hands.
But now... right in the midst of fear. Oh no! There's a threat!
But now... right in the midst of ridicule. Who do you think you are?
But now... right in the midst of discouragement. Right in the face of doubt. You can't do this!
O God... You are good.
O God... You are mighty to save.
O God... I need You.
O God... You are with me.
O God... You have a purpose for me.
O God... You! You.
Strengthen my hands... because I can't move forward without it.
Strengthen my hands... because I don't want to let fear enslave me.
Strengthen my hands... I don't want to quit. And without Your help, I might.
Strengthen my hands... because You want to give me more than I ever dreamed I could have. Freedom.
Strengthen my hands... because I want it.
Strengthen my hands, strengthen my heart ... because I want You.
But now, O God... strengthen.
But now, O God...
Thursday, January 12, 2012
My Hero
Ever been asked who your favorite Bible hero is?
I never really knew how to answer. Put on the spot, I could never think of one person in particular that stood out to me. There are things that touch my need and inspire me about many biblical personalities.
I admire Paul's ambitious ministry, the fact that he wrote much of the New Testament, that he just wouldn't quit even in the face of great suffering, and his profound wisdom about God's grace to us in Christ.
I admire the courage of Mary, a young girl who, when faced with a frightful appearing, an impossible message, and head-spinning responsibility, said, "Be it done to me according to your word." Wow.
I admire Peter for his all-out passion for Jesus. The first to speak up, the only one to get out of the boat and walk on water, the first to jump from the boat and run to Jesus after His resurrection, Peter had a passion and drive I lack.
In this time of quiet reflection apart from the on-the-spot question, my list of Bible heroes grows large. However, I'm thinking of one in particular right now. One who speaks to areas of my weakness. Speaks to my everyday life as well as my want-to-live-big-for-God life. Nehemiah.
Nehemiah was a man in the service of King Artexerxes in, I believe, Babylon, during Israel's captivity. Some of the nation of Israel escaped captivity and remained in and around Jerusalem. Nehemiah was grieved when he learned the vulnerable ruined state his ancestral city was in. When asked by the king why his face was sad Nehemiah was afraid, but he spoke up.
"Now I had not been sad in his presence. So the king said to me, 'Why is your face sad though you are not sick? This is nothing but but sadness of heart.' Then I was very much afraid."
I'll bet he was afraid! How do you tell the king you're sad because your homeland lies in ruins when, if I'm not mistaken, it was the king's nation that ruined it and took you off to be a slave?
"And I said to the king, 'Let the king live forever. Why should my face not be sad when the city, the place of my fathers' tombs, lies desolate and its gates have been consumed by fire?'"
Was Nehemiah surprised by the king's next words? Or did he smile inside - despite his fear - because he had fervently prayed for God to grant him favor and compassion before this man?
Then the king said to me, "What would you request?"
At that moment, Nehemiah gave generations after him - millions of believers - a powerful example of prayer. It has been called an "arrow prayer", one shot to God in an instant, using few words (if any) to cover a whole gamut of need.
"So I prayed to the God of heaven." Right in the middle of a conversation.
"And I said to the king, 'If it please the king, and if your servant has found favor before you, send me . . . that I may rebuild it.'"
While I love this account of Nehemiah's constant communication with God, it's not really the reason I've settled on him as my favorite Bible hero. It's the preview. The introduction. Why Nehemiah is so inspiring to me swirls around a verse that has been one of my favorites for many years. Stay tuned.
I never really knew how to answer. Put on the spot, I could never think of one person in particular that stood out to me. There are things that touch my need and inspire me about many biblical personalities.
I admire Paul's ambitious ministry, the fact that he wrote much of the New Testament, that he just wouldn't quit even in the face of great suffering, and his profound wisdom about God's grace to us in Christ.
I admire the courage of Mary, a young girl who, when faced with a frightful appearing, an impossible message, and head-spinning responsibility, said, "Be it done to me according to your word." Wow.
I admire Peter for his all-out passion for Jesus. The first to speak up, the only one to get out of the boat and walk on water, the first to jump from the boat and run to Jesus after His resurrection, Peter had a passion and drive I lack.
In this time of quiet reflection apart from the on-the-spot question, my list of Bible heroes grows large. However, I'm thinking of one in particular right now. One who speaks to areas of my weakness. Speaks to my everyday life as well as my want-to-live-big-for-God life. Nehemiah.
Nehemiah was a man in the service of King Artexerxes in, I believe, Babylon, during Israel's captivity. Some of the nation of Israel escaped captivity and remained in and around Jerusalem. Nehemiah was grieved when he learned the vulnerable ruined state his ancestral city was in. When asked by the king why his face was sad Nehemiah was afraid, but he spoke up.
"Now I had not been sad in his presence. So the king said to me, 'Why is your face sad though you are not sick? This is nothing but but sadness of heart.' Then I was very much afraid."
I'll bet he was afraid! How do you tell the king you're sad because your homeland lies in ruins when, if I'm not mistaken, it was the king's nation that ruined it and took you off to be a slave?
"And I said to the king, 'Let the king live forever. Why should my face not be sad when the city, the place of my fathers' tombs, lies desolate and its gates have been consumed by fire?'"
Was Nehemiah surprised by the king's next words? Or did he smile inside - despite his fear - because he had fervently prayed for God to grant him favor and compassion before this man?
Then the king said to me, "What would you request?"
At that moment, Nehemiah gave generations after him - millions of believers - a powerful example of prayer. It has been called an "arrow prayer", one shot to God in an instant, using few words (if any) to cover a whole gamut of need.
"So I prayed to the God of heaven." Right in the middle of a conversation.
"And I said to the king, 'If it please the king, and if your servant has found favor before you, send me . . . that I may rebuild it.'"
While I love this account of Nehemiah's constant communication with God, it's not really the reason I've settled on him as my favorite Bible hero. It's the preview. The introduction. Why Nehemiah is so inspiring to me swirls around a verse that has been one of my favorites for many years. Stay tuned.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Roots
A friend of mine sent me an email in response to one of these recent posts pertaining to the monsters of fear and anger within us. She recently learned, from a great Sunday morning message, something else about the resident fear and anger we tend to carry with us. It is definitely worth passing on!
She shared that these two trouble makers are basically rooted in unmet needs. This is a powerful insight that I've been mulling over ever since she emailed me. When a legitimate need in our lives goes unmet, it produces a myriad of emotions that can probably be summed up in frustration and hurt. When we don't know how to properly deal with that frustration and hurt, they go unresolved.
I think this is how fear and anger start to move in and set up camp inside us, becoming our natural and first responses to many things. It's easy to see how a childhood dotted with violation and injury could open the door to the establishment of a fear default. Likewise a childhood of being ignored by one or both parents, being mistreated and disrespected, opens the door for anger to take up residence and become our default response in life.
In recognizing these roots of our fear and anger, we can begin to bring them to God asking questions about them as we embark with Him on the journey of ridding our inner corridors of these pacing resident monsters.
What am I truly afraid of here, Lord?
Why am I so angry over this, Lord?
Is there an unmet need that has triggered this response?
Am I reacting out of reflex because of a series of unmet needs in my past?
What do You want me to know about my fear (or anger) right now, Lord?
Pausing to ask God these questions and slowing down to listen for His answers, we can find "the help of His presence" (Psalm 42:5), remember that He is for us (Psalm 56:9) and wants to lead us into freedom from the hindrances of fear and anger ( John 10:10 - "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." and Galatians 5:1 - "It was for freedom that Christ set us free, therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.")
As we gain insights as to the roots of our fear or anger, encompassing them in prayer is the next step.
Lord, when I'm feeling vulnerable, neglected or mistreated, help me to run to You as my ever vigilant Father, protector and provider.
Help me to find my shelter in You and realize that how others treat me is not a declaration of my value.
Help me to not let fear run roughshod over my relationships, my days, my joys, and purpose.
Help me to trust You with me. Help me to place my vulnerability into Your hands and to know that I am safe there.
She shared that these two trouble makers are basically rooted in unmet needs. This is a powerful insight that I've been mulling over ever since she emailed me. When a legitimate need in our lives goes unmet, it produces a myriad of emotions that can probably be summed up in frustration and hurt. When we don't know how to properly deal with that frustration and hurt, they go unresolved.
I think this is how fear and anger start to move in and set up camp inside us, becoming our natural and first responses to many things. It's easy to see how a childhood dotted with violation and injury could open the door to the establishment of a fear default. Likewise a childhood of being ignored by one or both parents, being mistreated and disrespected, opens the door for anger to take up residence and become our default response in life.
In recognizing these roots of our fear and anger, we can begin to bring them to God asking questions about them as we embark with Him on the journey of ridding our inner corridors of these pacing resident monsters.
What am I truly afraid of here, Lord?
Why am I so angry over this, Lord?
Is there an unmet need that has triggered this response?
Am I reacting out of reflex because of a series of unmet needs in my past?
What do You want me to know about my fear (or anger) right now, Lord?
Pausing to ask God these questions and slowing down to listen for His answers, we can find "the help of His presence" (Psalm 42:5), remember that He is for us (Psalm 56:9) and wants to lead us into freedom from the hindrances of fear and anger ( John 10:10 - "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." and Galatians 5:1 - "It was for freedom that Christ set us free, therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.")
As we gain insights as to the roots of our fear or anger, encompassing them in prayer is the next step.
Lord, when I'm feeling vulnerable, neglected or mistreated, help me to run to You as my ever vigilant Father, protector and provider.
Help me to find my shelter in You and realize that how others treat me is not a declaration of my value.
Help me to not let fear run roughshod over my relationships, my days, my joys, and purpose.
Help me to trust You with me. Help me to place my vulnerability into Your hands and to know that I am safe there.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Trust Again
Ahh, trust. That word that's so important. The word that sums up the way to deal with every issue we face in life.
Trust God. But how? How do we do it? What's it look like and what's it feel like?
Trust, to me, seems like a bundle of contradictions. It is a passive action. The “doing” of letting go. The action of hands off. It is a strange mixture of doing a “non-doing.”
When I trust, I let go of all rights to control an event. I remove my hands of influence on the outcome. I move toward God.
It's almost, for a moment, an antsy feeling. Like trying so hard not to touch something I've just relinquished over to someone else. It's a matter of handing it over to God and not trying to manage it.
It's funny how after all these years in the company of fear that I somehow grew to think of fear as a tool with which I can somehow manipulate my circumstances. It seems I must subconsciously believe that by being afraid of something, I can control it. Or at least prevent getting blindsided by it.
But fear only serves to steal from me. It steals life, and joy, and peace. Bigger still, it steals from me the beauty of a trusting relationship with God.
I will not know God's perfect love for me if I continue distrusting Him.
If I continue trusting my fear I will never experience God's love.
I must trust His love to know His love.
Trust is a choice. With each additional choice, trust grows and gets easier. Choosing to trust God over my fear is always, always rewarding. It is always strengthening, always beneficial. As I trust Him more, I get to experience His love more. And that's just plain awesome!
Trust God. But how? How do we do it? What's it look like and what's it feel like?
Trust, to me, seems like a bundle of contradictions. It is a passive action. The “doing” of letting go. The action of hands off. It is a strange mixture of doing a “non-doing.”
When I trust, I let go of all rights to control an event. I remove my hands of influence on the outcome. I move toward God.
It's almost, for a moment, an antsy feeling. Like trying so hard not to touch something I've just relinquished over to someone else. It's a matter of handing it over to God and not trying to manage it.
It's funny how after all these years in the company of fear that I somehow grew to think of fear as a tool with which I can somehow manipulate my circumstances. It seems I must subconsciously believe that by being afraid of something, I can control it. Or at least prevent getting blindsided by it.
But fear only serves to steal from me. It steals life, and joy, and peace. Bigger still, it steals from me the beauty of a trusting relationship with God.
I will not know God's perfect love for me if I continue distrusting Him.
If I continue trusting my fear I will never experience God's love.
I must trust His love to know His love.
Trust is a choice. With each additional choice, trust grows and gets easier. Choosing to trust God over my fear is always, always rewarding. It is always strengthening, always beneficial. As I trust Him more, I get to experience His love more. And that's just plain awesome!
Monday, December 5, 2011
Relinquishing The Monster
There is a scene from C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce I'm thinking of right now. The book depicts an imaginary bus ride to heaven where the travelers, hardened by years of self-consumed living and rejection of God, experience the extraordinary “realness” of heaven. They interact with and witness residents of this land of heaven. One scene contains the exchange between a heavenly being and a man who would like to stay but cannot without leaving behind his friend. His “friend” is a lizard-like creature on his shoulder. It whispers in his ear, influencing him mercilessly and growing larger and heavier on his shoulder the more the man attempts to resist him. The man doesn't realize that his familiar companion is no friend at all. He's grown so used to its presence that he greatly fears removing him from his shoulder, even in exchange for heaven itself. The fact remains that this gentleman cannot stay in heaven and keep his lizard. Its removal would mean its death. He has to relinquish his lizard, essentially giving his permission for it to be removed and killed. When he finally did so, the lizard shreiked at the touch of it's slayer. In agony it shriveled and died. It was painful for the man to watch. But then, before his eyes, it turned into an altogether different creature of such beauty the man was amazed. This new and beautiful creature did accompany him in his new heavenly residence.
Like the “lizard guy” in The Great Divorce, we have to voluntarily relinquish our monsters of unhealed fear, relinquisth them for removal. To change metaphors here, we have to voluntarily submit the infected appendage to our Doctor for lancing. But our lizard, our infection, is intangible and so much harder to grab hold of in order to relinquish and surrender over to the Healer. But God is good. He knows this. He knows the difficulty of the relinquishment we face. He knows our weakness and is mindful that we are but dust. (Psalm 103:14) Very precious and highly valued “dust” to Him. He longs for us to give Him full access to our monstrous infection of unhealed fear. He longs for us to trust Him with any pain that accompanies the healing we so deeply long for. It is well worth it and I want it. How do I do it? It all boils down to TRUST again.
Lord help us to lay hold of our intangible infections and lay them out before Your surgeon's hand of healing. Help us to see what to surrender, even it's just a big ball of unclear fearfulness. Give us the courage to give You full access. Help us trust You with any pain that might come from facing things we've avoided for too long. You are the Perfect Healer. You are the Perfect Lover of our souls. We long for the freedom, peace, and rest You died to give us. We will choose to trust You with Your processes for clearing the way of our hearts to receive it.
Like the “lizard guy” in The Great Divorce, we have to voluntarily relinquish our monsters of unhealed fear, relinquisth them for removal. To change metaphors here, we have to voluntarily submit the infected appendage to our Doctor for lancing. But our lizard, our infection, is intangible and so much harder to grab hold of in order to relinquish and surrender over to the Healer. But God is good. He knows this. He knows the difficulty of the relinquishment we face. He knows our weakness and is mindful that we are but dust. (Psalm 103:14) Very precious and highly valued “dust” to Him. He longs for us to give Him full access to our monstrous infection of unhealed fear. He longs for us to trust Him with any pain that accompanies the healing we so deeply long for. It is well worth it and I want it. How do I do it? It all boils down to TRUST again.
Lord help us to lay hold of our intangible infections and lay them out before Your surgeon's hand of healing. Help us to see what to surrender, even it's just a big ball of unclear fearfulness. Give us the courage to give You full access. Help us trust You with any pain that might come from facing things we've avoided for too long. You are the Perfect Healer. You are the Perfect Lover of our souls. We long for the freedom, peace, and rest You died to give us. We will choose to trust You with Your processes for clearing the way of our hearts to receive it.
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