I've come to see that unhealed fear and anger live with me all the time. They're crying out for healing but real healing often comes with more pain, like lancing an inflamed infection. When I bury the real reasons for my amassed collection of unhealed fears and anger, I continue avoiding them rather than present them to the Healer for the necessary lancing. On some subconscious level I, and others like me, may even hope that occasional (or frequent) expressions, outbursts, and ventings will asuage the monster and soothe the infection. But they don't. We need healing. Full healing. Not just outlets to express and vent the pent up fear residing in us. Not just excuses to unleash the monster of our unhealed anger or fear. We need the monster to go away altogether. We need it to be shrunk, in the face of the healing power and majesty of our Almighty Savior. Shrunk, slain, and booted out.
We need to – somehow – present the whole pacing monster of our unhealed fear and anger to God and allow His skillful examination to tame it, shrink it, and remove it. To heal it.
Seeing my fear and anger in this way – as not merely reactions to which I'm mysteriously prone, but rather almost as objects resident in me – I've come to more clearly see how they mis-express themselves in my life. My choices in the face of experiences long ago gave birth to a monster I have not understood. Seeing my fear as a pent-up accumulated mass of unhealed influence, which paces around waiting for an excuse to vent itself, helps me understand why I fall prey to it so often. Understanding this dimishes my sense of being fear's victim and reveals in a greater way my power to take it to God for Him to deal with. Not just the fear of the moment, but the whole ugly monster that's taken up residence inside me.
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